The best 2 guys in the world to take advice from
From his residence on Loony Street at number CRAZY, Stephon Marbury took time from his weekly meeting with the March Hare and the Mad Hatter to let NBA stars know they shouldn’t sign with the NY Knicks. He even explained why:
I wouldn’t want to play in that system (Mike D’Antoni’s system). That system can’t win championships.
said Mr Marbury, no doubt relying on his extensive championship experience. He added:
You can’t win championships if you don’t talk about defense. (my emphasis)
And he’s absolutely right. Is just like that time you lost your virginity by talking about sex.
In the end Mr Marbury complained that the process of getting a buy-out (i.e. getting money without actually doing anything to deserve them) left him “mentally damaged”. According to him:
Mentally I was damaged and didn’t even realize it.
No worries, Mr. Marbury. The rest of us realized that you were mentally damaged years ago. But there is a silver lining to it: you could get to star in the movie Dumb, Dumber and Dumbury. I think you were born for that part.
General idiocy
New York Knicks, Stephon Marbury
First Garnett is out for the playoffs with a mysterious knee injury, then Danny Ainge suffers a heart attack. And now, this.
And it’s all the Celtics’ fault. They were told not to do it, but they went ahead and did it anyway – they signed Marbury and tried to get him a title. And now, the basketball gods are angry, my friends. And the Celtics won’t like them when they’re angry.
The Celtics are being hit with the 10 plagues for defying the basketball gods and signing Marbury to a contract. Garnett is out, Ainge got a warning in the form of a “minor heart attack”, the TD Banknorth Garden was overrun by frogs at every Celtics home game (or whatever those round shaped green wearing creatures were), and he won’t admit it, but Doc Rivers must have gotten the crabs.
What’s next you ask ? Let’s check the list. Water to blood (this must refer to Garnett’s injury) – checked. Frogs and locusts (they’re all green, some are fat and some are slim, it’s the fans at the TD Banknorth Garden) - checked. Gnats or lice – checked. Boils – checked. Next: DARKNESS. As in a dark arena. This means 1st round playoff elimination. Rejoyice Bulls fans, this will be the 2nd time in 3 years the Bulls knock out the defending champions in the 1st round.
There are more bad news, though. If the Celtics continue to defy the basketball gods and sign Marbury for next season, too, I fear Big Baby will be in big trouble (you know, 10th plague, death of the babies).
General
Boston Celtics, Ray Allen, Stephon Marbury